Yo peepsters After the copious Frankie Laine of the last couple of months the grass and reeds are so tall on the Cabernet they could hide an elephant herd. Unfortunately the conservationists can’t mow the lawn (so to speak) until the little wuzzoes have fledged and departed. Apart from the bully boy tooty froots who chase everything that moves off the scrape there were very few wuzzoes residing there. Mind you, they don’t mess with the grey herons. Of course, my favourites, the little grebes are too canny for the bellicose gerrymandering tooties, and manage to mind their business and carry on regardless. What I was delighted to see was the amount of herons arriving where they can surreptitiously lurk in the long grass waiting to stab any unfortunate creature that crosses their path. I counted 3 grey herons and 7 little egrets. I enclose a Barnaby of one of the little egrets as it floated gracefully in front of the Jeckyl. I don’t think you want to see more smudges of tooty froots in their various guises so I’ve included an ode I wrote after visiting a cinema. My pet hate is people munching food while I’m trying to watch a film encouraged by management who sell them gargantuan tubs of popcorn hasta la doo dah x Mr Angry of Tunbridge Wells AKA i Jedi de Quack
DAN & GRAN
I know a certain fatcat Dan
Who goes to the pictures with his Gran
They take buttered rolls and honey cured ham
Left over slices from leg of lamb
Fatcat Dan loves bags of sweets
In fact, all confectionery treats
Fizzy drinks sucked through straws
(Hot drinks give him sweaty pores)
Their favourite sweets are sherbet dabs
Followed by sticks of lamb kebabs
The amount of food filling their face
Make pacemaker’s start to race
Interval time Dan buys ice cream
Which really makes me want to scream
Slurp slurp slurp
Burp burp burp
I wish that I was Wyatt Earp
I’d load my gun and shoot the twerp
Gran specially likes toffee apple(Always buying types that crackle)
When sitting close behind your seat
You’ll go berserk when old jaws meet
Crunch crunch crunch
Munch munch munch
They’re such a greedy little bunch
Why do they have to bring their lunch?
There’s nothing else that I really hate
Like two sets of teeth when they masticate
One old lady one big lout
Overfed and far too stout
The next time I pass by their home
I’m going to smash their garden gnome
And cover their gruesome dog with foam
(They call the stupid mutt Jerome)
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